While working with ADHD clients, sooner or later, I hit the same roadblock, which is the most challenging obstacle to work with.

Clients feel despair when talking about it. They crumble under the pressure of expectations paired with genuine inability. They would like to avoid working with the issue at any cost; however, they can achieve changes in their lives only once they improve it.

It is challenging because working on this deficit activates deep discomfort and resistance rooted in feelings of shame – clients are convinced they are not good enough since they cannot function like everyone else.

Many clients get easily discouraged since improving the issue requires enormous stamina, organisation, and faith.

What am I talking about?

Executive function.

We can describe the executive function by mentioning at least seven parts.

I will list them and give you some examples of observable deficit indicators.

1. Working memory.

If something is not written down, it will be forgotten. You forget to write things down.

You don't remember to respond to the email or text you received a minute ago. You don't remember to make a note of the meeting you just agreed to. You don't know what you just read. You cannot follow cooking recipes since you do not remember what you just did. You lose things since you do not remember where you put them. You cannot remember what you want to say when someone talks too long. You might forget to pack important documents and objects. You forget the last steps of the tasks, like putting laundry up, putting the cake into the oven and pressing the send button.

2. Self-inhibition.

You often think you deserve to feel better or do something fun before doing something difficult. You cannot stop yourself from going on Instagram, playing games, drinking the third cup of coffee, eating another cookie, or smoking another cigarette. It is tough to stop when something feels good - no matter how ineffective the results might be. For example, you can spend hours in the gym since you get into flow. Even when something hurts, it is hard to stop; for example, you know you are tired and need to go to bed, but you watch another episode of your favourite show.

3.  Resistance to distractions.

Everything might steal your attention. Advertisement in the corner of the computer thought in your head, sensation in your body, a sound, reflection in the mirror, speck of dust on the desk.

4. Attention shifting.

You are unable to start the task. You do not know where to start and what should go next. You hate when people interrupt you since you will never be able to go back to the place you were working on. You will never be able to return to the feeling you had while working on the interrupted task. When you work on something, you cannot stop and continue later. You have many projects started, but you cannot finish them. When you shift your attention, returning to the task feels like a drag; it is dull and oppressive.

5. Organising

You do not understand your or other people's limits, so for example, you might organise very long excursions that are not pleasurable. You might forget to organise food or water. You do not know how long things might take. You might omit some steps of the activity, like booking a cab, picking up tickets, or checking the train times.

6. Planning.

Planning seems impossible because there are so many things that you are overdue.

If you plan the day and fail to do one activity, it is impossible to do the next one on the list. Sometimes, activities take more or less time than you plan for; therefore, the plan does not work.

Often, you do not want to do things you planned to do. Planned things are boring because they do not happen spontaneously. The plan things seem like something you are forced to do – even though you planned them. Often, you forget to look into your planner or plan in the first place.