Month: February 2024

Some clients write a lot: morning pages, books, screenplays, complaints, memories.

Some others do not, but they would like to start because every corner of social media advertises the benefits of journaling for personal development.

Is writing so enlightening and necessary? Ancient philosophers seemed happy walking and talking simultaneously, but then they started writing.

Nevertheless, if we do not have words to name our feelings, they do not exist.

We can only have bodily sensations if we cannot find words for feelings.

The feeling might be in the pit of your stomach; it could be thick and cold and look like a slug. Only when you put a name to it (shame),  you gain agency over it.

You are gaining control.

So yes, let’s write. If you have no experience with personal writing, the quickest way to start is to write a list.

For example, the list of the things I thought I would never do but I did:

• I went on holiday on my own.
• I had a baby.
• I jumped from an aeroplane.
• I had my appendix removed.
• I told my mother I loved her.

Convinced? Some more

1. All the funerals you have been to
2. All the pets that you had/have.
3. Books you will never read with the reasons for not wanting to read them
4. Symptoms you are experiencing recently.
5. Write a list of all your thoughts when you wake up at 3 am.
6. The reasons why you hate/like/are not interested in your neighbours.

Avocados exist on a spectrum.

Avocados are unapologetically hard on one end of the spectrum; we call them not ripe enough. Somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, avocados become suitable to eat, later changing into a mushy, rotten, sad existence.

Various people like avocados in different stages of development. Some like them a little bit hard, and others like them mushy better.

Personally, I like the mushy option.

In general, we can say with 100 per cent certainty that some avocados are just not good enough.

We can wait until they are ready or just throw them away.

Either way, we do not engage with them much and allow them to lay silently in the basket until they are to our liking.

People are not like avocados.

They are not on the spectrum of being not good enough or just right. This is a ridiculous claim, but we tend to believe it.

But why?

1. Our parents told us that if we were not going to be good enough, we would fail. We do not really know what that failing would look like, but it is possibly the most horrible experience since everyone is terrified of it.
2. We “know” that if we are not good enough, we will miss something big in life, like falling in love. Not being enough is the sole reason someone is not lucky in the romantic department.
3. Finally, we think that if we are not good enough, we will regret not achieving something spectacular in life.

Anxiety and regrets. A lot of responsibility for something that does not exist.

You are not an avocado.

Your worth cannot be measured.

You do not have a “best before” date.